This weekend has also been a Public Transport Black Hole Weekend too, which just made things all the more BIZARRE.
Firstly, this morning, my bus nearly caught on fire. There we were, rumbling down the highway, packed into every corner like sardines, when someone yells "Holy Fuck! THE BUS IS ON FIRE!", and everyone on the bus swung around to look, which actually made the whole bus lurch in a really bad way, and sure enough, there is blackish smoke coming from somewhere under the bus, past the window. Everyone freaked. The bus driver pulled over and everyone piled off as fast as they could... I've never seen little old ladies moves so fast... why can't they move that fast when they're getting on the bus in the mornings when I'm trying to get to the stations to catch a train?!
So there we were, some 70 people stranded by the side of the road with a dead bus. Ironically, a short while later the stopping-all-stations bus (we were the express) rumbled past, but it couldn't pick us up because it too was full. It took ages to get us a rescue bus, and I was an hour late for work.
Then, on the way home, thing were just wierd. I sat down on the bus, stashing all my bags & things securely about me.. then the next thing I know, one of the the scary wierdos whom everyone had been trying to avoid eye contact with on the train earlier rumbles up with this gigantic suitcase (big enough to fit 2, maybe 3 dead bodies in), wedges it in the space in front of me and says, "Here, hold onto this, if it falls over, catch it!", and then trundles off to sit at the front of the bus.
So, there I was, wedged between a giant suitcase that kept trying to fall over and crush the tiny ancient Vietnamese couple sitting opposite me, and an incredibly drunk, racist, smelly and loudly verbose older guy, whom I was also trying to distract enough to stop him spewing venom at the poor scared oldies.
Like I said, bizarre and wierd. Bob & Andy must be on something, they're getting really creative.